Most men walk around like love-struck puppies, chasing women who wouldn’t even spit on them if they were on fire. They call, text, simp, beg, send fare, and pray for a miracle—meanwhile, the woman is somewhere watching Netflix with a man who never even said “good morning.” This chapter isn’t for the soft-hearted.
It’s for men ready to face the cold slap of reality: if she’s not into you, she will show it—and it’s usually loud, disrespectful, and shameless. But the problem? Many of you still don’t get it. You think she’s just busy. You think she’s shy. No, brother—she just sees you as human leftovers. Let’s break this down with savage honesty before you embarrass yourself again.
- Obvious Disrespect and Contempt
Let’s start with the most brutal red flag: she doesn’t even pretend to respect you.
She talks over you, mocks your opinions, and might even roll her eyes mid-conversation like you’re the village idiot.
You tell a story and she replies with, “That’s dumb,” or worse—silence followed by scrolling TikTok.
She might make jokes at your expense in front of her friends.
You think she’s being “playful,” but they’re laughing because she just publicly neutered you like a street dog.
She doesn’t fear losing you.
She doesn’t fear offending you.
Because to her, you’re not a man.
You’re background noise.
You’re the guy she uses for emotional support, free airtime, fare, and attention—but never for intimacy.
You’re the guy she might call “bro” or “bestie.”
You’re the guy she would never sleep with unless the world was ending and you were the last man left—and even then, she’d hesitate.
If you feel like a doormat, it’s because you are. And she’s wiping her heels on your self-esteem daily.
- She’d Rather Die Than Flirt or Be Intimate with You
Let’s not sugarcoat it—this woman would rather cuddle a cactus than give you a hug.
You try to get close, and she dodges like you’re swinging a machete.
Your compliments go unnoticed, your attempts at flirting are met with “haha anyway…”
and if you so much as brush her shoulder, she recoils like you just sneezed Ebola.
She’ll flirt with the waiter, the boda guy, the breeze—but not you.
You could be the last man on Earth and she’d say, “Let’s just be friends…for humanity’s sake.”
If she does hug you, it’s that sideways church hug, stiff as a board, with zero chest contact—like she’s trying to keep her soul intact.
And if you ever bring up intimacy, she hits you with:
“I’m not ready for a relationship at the moment.”
“I don’t want to ruin the friendship.”
“You’re like a brother to me.”
Brother? Bro?
She just friendzoned you so hard your ancestors felt it.
She’s not celibate. She’s just celibate with you.
Meanwhile, she’s got a sneaky link who doesn’t even say thank you when he leaves.
Brutal truth: she’s not waiting for the right time—she’s waiting for the right man.
And it’s not you. Take a mug of Sugarless Black coffee before proceeding.
- She Questions Your Authority (Because You Have None)
This one’s for the men who think they’re “leaders,” yet get led around like confused interns.
If a woman constantly challenges your every decision, mocks your opinions, and treats your ideas like a toddler’s finger painting, congratulations—
you’ve got no authority in her eyes.
You’re not a leader; you’re a suggestion box she never checks.
You say, “Let’s meet at 2,” she says, “I’ll see if I make it.”
You say, “I don’t like you going out half-naked,” she replies, “Then close your eyes.”
You try to set standards, and she hits you with: “Who do you think you are?”
Answer: Not the man she respects.
A woman who respects you might challenge you occasionally—but she won’t belittle you.
If she sees you as weak or indecisive, she will test you like a rebellious teenager.
And if you keep folding?
She will lose all trace of attraction and start treating you like her junior assistant.
If she laughs when you try to lay down rules, you’re not a man in her world—you’re a meme.
And no woman submits to a meme.
She might obey another man’s whispers but challenge your loudest roars. Why?
Because you give “boy energy,” not king energy.
- She Asks You for Money, Yet You’re Not Her Man (Let Alone Her Husband)
Ah yes—the favorite hobby of many women: milking attention, validation, and cash from men they wouldn’t even hug if they were drowning.
You’re not her boyfriend.
You’re not her fiancé.
You’re not even in her “maybe” pile.
But somehow, you’ve become her personal M-Pesa machine.
She hits you with,
“Can you help me out, things are tough right now…”
“Babe, I need fare.”
“My rent is due, but I don’t want to bother you…” (then proceeds to bother you).
And you? Like a clown with a mission, you send it.
Hoping, praying, that one day she’ll see your kindness and open her legs…I mean, her heart.
Newsflash: she sees you as an emotional and financial sponge.
You’re the practice dummy. The guy she drains dry before she goes to see the man who’s actually rearranging her spine—for free.
If she doesn’t want you, but she wants your wallet, you’re not a love interest—you’re a resource.
A walking ATM with zero PIN protection.
She doesn’t even pretend to like you anymore.
She just sends the till number and goes silent.
And if you ever bring up how unfair this is, she’ll gaslight you:
“If you’re not comfortable, just say no.”
“I didn’t force you.”
Exactly. Because only fools volunteer for slavery.
- She Can’t Do You Favors or Go Out of Her Way to Please You (Because You’re Not Worth the Effort)
You ever notice how this woman can cook a three-course meal for her crush, cross town in the rain to visit her ex, or stay up all night helping some guy edit his CV—
but when you ask for a small favor, suddenly her hands are broken and her phone is off?
You ask her to help you out and she replies with:
“I’m really busy. Sitapatikana leo.”
“That’s a lot, can’t someone else do it?”
Or the classic: “Ugh, why are you stressing me?”
Meanwhile, she once carried chicken stew in a handbag to a man’s house who didn’t even have a bed. Let that sink in.
If a woman doesn’t want to please you, she never will.
Not because she’s incapable, but because she sees you as a non-priority.
A placeholder.
A convenience.
You’re the guy she talks to when she’s bored, but never the guy she sacrifices for.
She can’t even buy you airtime, but she’ll blow Ksh 2,000 on nails to impress a man who hasn’t texted back in two days.
This isn’t about money—it’s about investment.
If she’s not putting in effort, she’s not afraid to lose you.
And if she’s not afraid to lose you, you were never truly in the game.
- She Treats Other Men Better Than You—Right In Your Face
This one stings. You’re there, thinking you’re “building something,” meanwhile she’s lighting up like a Christmas tree every time another man enters the room.
Suddenly she’s laughing louder, fixing her hair, sitting up straighter, and speaking in that sweet, feminine voice you’ve never heard her use around you.
You try to start a convo—dry.
He walks in—she turns into a Disney princess.
You compliment her—“thanks.”
He calls her “trouble”—she giggles like it’s the funniest thing since Chaplin.
You’ve been friendzoned so hard, she’s now comfortable flirting with other men in your presence—because she knows you won’t do a damn thing about it.
You’re the safe guy.
The one who holds her bag while she hugs another man just a little too long.
And don’t be fooled—women know exactly what they’re doing.
She’s showing you your place.
Not directly, not with words—but with her body language, tone, and choice of who gets her best energy.
She’s treating other men like kings, and you like the errand boy.
That’s not confusion, brother.
That’s deliberate contempt with a smile.
- She Vanishes After Getting What She Wanted (Mission Accomplished, Clown)
She texts you with “Hey you…” and your brain short-circuits.
You think she finally came to her senses.
But no—she just wants something.
Maybe it’s fare. Maybe help with her assignment.
Maybe she wants you to hype her Instagram post.
Whatever it is, once you deliver? Poof—she’s gone. Like a thief in broad daylight.
You text: “Hey, did you get home safe?”
No reply.
You ask: “Wanna hang out this weekend?”
Read. No response.
You double text.
She posts “God is good” with fire emojis and ignores you like last year’s offers.
She doesn’t ghost you because she’s scared. She ghosts you because your usefulness has expired—until the next time she needs something.
You’re a transactional character in her life. A side quest. A human vending machine who doesn’t even charge.
She’s not too busy. She’s not asleep. She’s just prioritizing real men while you sit there analyzing her one-word replies like they’re Shakespeare.
If she only contacts you when she’s in need and disappears right after—congrats, you’re not a potential lover.
You’re tech support.
- She Hides You Like a Disease (You’re Her Embarrassing Little Secret)
If a woman is into you, she’ll show you off like a trophy.
But if she sees you as beneath her—or worse, a temporary embarrassment—she’ll hide you like a rash she doesn’t want anyone to see.
She doesn’t want to be seen in public with you.
She won’t tag you in posts.
She won’t post your chats or pictures.
She won’t even save your name properly—just “Unga Guy,” “Battery Backup,” or “Don’t Pick.”
Ask to take a selfie?
“I don’t like photos.”
Ask to visit her?
“My roommates are around.”
Suggest you two go out?
“I prefer chilling indoors.”
Meanwhile, she’s outside every weekend taking mirror pics with her “boys,” posting champagne she didn’t buy, and captioning it “energy.”
She’s not lowkey. She’s ashamed.
Ashamed of being seen with you, associated with you, or even acknowledging you exist in her real world.
And if a friend ever asks “who’s that guy?”, she’ll respond with the speed of lightning: “Oh him? Just a friend. Nothing serious.”
If you’re a secret, she doesn’t love you.
If you’re hidden, you’re disposable.
You’re not the man she brags about—you’re the man she denies like Peter denied Jesus.
- She Lies to You, Betrays You, and Obviously Cheats on You
Here’s where the truth really hits like a sledgehammer: if she’s not into you, she won’t just ignore you—she’ll betray you with the coldest efficiency.
She lies about where she’s going, who she’s with, and what time she’ll be back—like she’s auditioning for a CIA spy role.
You catch her texting with “mystery men” and she claims it’s “work stuff.”
You see receipts from dinners you weren’t invited to, and she says it was “just a friend.”
You spot her flirting in WhatsApp groups, and she tells you you’re “too jealous.”
Cheating? Oh, it’s not even hidden.
Sometimes she’s sloppy about it—late texts, accidental calls, “oops, wrong chat” moments—and still expects you to smile and act like a loyal puppy.
If she’s into you, she values you enough to keep her promises and respect your trust.
If she’s not, she treats you like a convenient lie detector test:
Test how much you’ll tolerate.
Test how far she can push you.
Test if you’ll catch her or stay clueless.
And guess what? Most men stay clueless, willingly handing over their dignity like it’s candy.
Betrayal isn’t just cheating; it’s the silent murder of your self-respect.
And if she’s doing it blatantly, you’re nothing but a free-range fool in her circus.
- She Manipulates You to Raise Another Man’s Children
Here’s the savage reality no one wants to admit: some women will expertly trap you into becoming a father to a child that isn’t yours—all while smiling like you’re the hero in their story.
They play the ultimate long game, weaving lies and emotions so well that you don’t even realize you’ve been drafted into a lifetime contract.
She acts sweet, supportive, and “family-oriented” just long enough to get you to commit.
Then, boom—surprise pregnancy! And not yours.
Maybe the other man is “out of the picture,” “not responsible,” or “just not ready.”
Suddenly, you’re the one who’s supposed to step up, pay school fees, and be “the real man” in the child’s life.
You didn’t sign up for this role, but now you’re trapped in it—because society says you have to be the responsible one, no questions asked.
And if you hesitate or fight back, you’re painted as the villain.
Manipulation like this isn’t just emotional warfare—it’s a power move.
And if you fall for it, you’ll be stuck raising another man’s legacy while she’s out living her best life.
- She Makes You Wait… For Very Long (Like You’re a Broken Taxi Meter)
Here’s a classic move straight from the “Not Interested” playbook: she keeps you waiting like a man who just missed his boda boda ride.
You ask her out, and she says, “Let me check my schedule.”
Then days go by—no calls, no texts, no “sorry I’m busy.” Just radio silence.
You think she’s “playing hard to get,” but actually she’s just playing you out like a broken ATM that never dispenses cash.
She’s not busy; she’s busy ignoring you.
She’s not mysterious; she’s just not interested.
You wait for her texts like a kid waiting for Christmas—only to get a cold, half-hearted reply weeks later.
She “forgets” plans, cancels last minute, or “accidentally” falls asleep right before meeting up.
If she wanted you, she’d make time—even if it means sneaking you in between her other “priorities.”
But instead, she stretches waiting into a cruel joke where you’re the punchline.
So don’t waste your time waiting for a woman who makes you feel like a slow-loading webpage nobody has patience for.
Brutal Solutions When She Treats You Like Trash
- Stop Begging for Attention
If she ignores you, disrespect you, or treats you like a convenience, stop chasing her like a lost puppy.
Men who chase are men who get trampled.
Rule: Respect yourself enough to walk away.
- Set Clear Boundaries and Enforce Them
If she disrespects your time, money, or emotions, say it once—and then act accordingly.
No second chances for disrespect.
Rule: Boundaries aren’t punishments, they’re self-preservation.
- Upgrade Yourself Relentlessly
Get stronger, richer, smarter, and more interesting.
Women respect value, not desperation.
When you improve, she either steps up or steps out.
Rule: Become the prize, not the pursuer.
- Call Out Lies and Betrayal Immediately
Don’t sit quietly while she cheats or lies.
Expose the truth. Men who tolerate betrayal teach women they can get away with it.
Rule: Loyalty demands honesty; accept nothing less.
- Cut Off the Toxic Cycle
If she only contacts you when she needs something or disappears afterward, recognize the pattern.
Stop being her backup plan or ATM.
Rule: Your time and energy are not charity.
- Surround Yourself With High-Value People
If your circle encourages you to tolerate disrespect, find a new one.
High-value men don’t accept low-value treatment.
Rule: You become the company you keep.
- Don’t Play the Waiting Game
If she makes you wait endlessly, stop waiting. Life is short, and your time is precious.
Rule: Time is the most valuable currency you own.
- Demand Transparency and Communication
If she hides you or avoids public acknowledgment, ask why.
If she can’t be upfront, move on.
Rule: Secret relationships are dead-end relationships.
- Protect Your Legacy
If there’s even a hint she might manipulate you into raising another man’s child, get a paternity test upfront and set clear expectations.
Rule: Don’t let emotions cloud your judgment on the future you’re building.
- Invest in Yourself, Not Her Drama
Stop pouring energy into someone who drains you.
Focus on your goals, your health, your wealth, and your tribe.
Rule: Your life is your empire—guard it fiercely.
