Men, gather around. We need to talk about a disease more dangerous than malaria, more crippling than a broken spine, and more humiliating than slipping on a banana peel in front of your crush. This disease has infected millions of men, turning once-powerful warriors into simping, whimpering puppies. It’s called ONEitis—and if you don’t cure it, you’ll die inside like a cockroach under a slipper.
What is ONEitis? (A Simple Analogy for Dummies)
Imagine you’re a lion in the savannah, king of the jungle, capable of hunting any prey you desire.
But instead of feasting on all the delicious gazelles and buffalo around, you see one skinny, limping zebra
and decide, “This is the only zebra for me. If I don’t have her, I will starve to death.”
Now, instead of hunting, you sit under a tree writing poems, watching her graze
while whispering, “One day, she will see my worth.”
Bro, by the time she notices you, hyenas will be eating your corpse.
That’s ONEitis—when a man fixates on one woman like his life depends on it,
ignoring the millions of other women available.
Signs & Symptoms of ONEitis (If You Have 3 or More, Seek Immediate Treatment)
✅ You worship her like she’s Beyoncé – You see her as perfect, flawless, and sent from heaven,
even though she farts, picks her nose, and probably texts 5 other guys.
✅ You tolerate nonsense – She ignores your texts for 3 days, then replies with “haha yeah,”
and instead of moving on, you convince yourself she’s just “busy.” Busy kitu gani?
✅ You become a personal clown – You start telling dad jokes, wearing extra-tight jeans,
and listening to Taylor Swift just because she likes it.
✅ You imagine your future together after one date – You start planning your wedding, kids,
and mortgage because she smiled at you once in the supermarket.
✅ You get emotional over breadcrumbs – She calls you “buddy,”
and instead of running, you celebrate like you won the World Cup.
✅ You ignore other women – Even if Rihanna, Beyoncé, and Shakira beg to cook for you,
you reject them because “your queen” might text you back someday.
✅ You turn into an emotional hostage – If she’s happy, you’re happy.
If she’s distant, you cry in the shower listening to sad love songs.
Why ONEitis is Dangerous (Side Effects Include Extreme Simping & Public Humiliation)
☠ Loss of Masculinity – You go from being a confident man to a lovesick puppy waiting for head pats.
☠ Emotional Slavery – Your mood is controlled by a woman who barely notices your existence.
☠ Loss of Other Options – You ignore other women who might actually like you, because you’re waiting for a ghost to text back.
☠ Instant Friend-Zone Certification – Women don’t respect men who worship them. If you act like her fanboy, she’ll treat you like one.
☠ Public Disgrace – Nothing is more embarrassing than a grown man begging for attention from a woman who sees him as “just a friend.”
How to Prevent & Cure ONEitis (Emergency Treatment for Simps)
✅ Adopt the Abundance Mindset – There are 4 billion women on Earth.
Stop acting like you’re in a village with only one.
✅ Never Pedestalize a Woman – She’s human.
She burps, snores, and has bad hair days. Relax.
She’s not a goddess.
✅ Have a Mission Bigger Than Women – Build your empire.
A man focused on his grind attracts women effortlessly.
✅ Date Multiple Women – A lion doesn’t hunt one zebra.
A wise man explores his options.
✅ Recognize Red Flags & Walk Away – If she’s playing games,
delete her number and move on.
She’s not a rare Pokémon.
✅ Stay in Control of Your Emotions – Women respect men who are emotionally stable,
not men who cry when they get ghosted.
Don’t Be That Guy Who Simps
If you treat one woman like your oxygen supply, like she has your kidneys, she’ll lose attraction faster than you can say “simp.”
Women love men who are dominant, self-sufficient, and in control—
not men who beg for attention like a street dog.
So, cure your ONEitis before it turns you into an emotional vegetable.
If she’s not interested, NEXT!
There’s another woman out there who actually wants you.
